When Mila Kunis appears onscreen: “Where have I seen her before?”

Wait, how old is Natalie Portman’s character supposed to be here?

I really, really hope they go beyond this painful black=bad, white=good junior high symbolism. I understand it’s part of “Swan Lake,” but.

Ha, that guy was in “Oceans Twelve.”

One time, my Karate instructor had ballerinas come in to show the class how to stretch. I’m not sure why and everyone must have been afraid to ask. The ballerinas were really good at it. We tried to follow their stretches, but most of us couldn’t. That was my last ballet experience. Must have been almost seven years ago.

I guess she dresses like she’s in her mid-twenties.

Wait, did those pictures in the mother’s bedroom just move?

Oh, I see.  She’s at least 21.

Man, the mother is really creepy.

Did they just do the shot where it’s dark and the main character is frightened and something dark scoots quickly across the screen?

I think the melodrama here is on par with “Swan Lake,” although I’m not sure I’ve ever seen the whole thing.  I did see a tuba player once re-enacting the death scene from “Swan Lake” while playing his tuba.  It was well done, and pretty funny.  Probably the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on PBS.

I can’t help but think of that bathtub scene from “Billy Madison”: “Stop looking at me, swan.”

This is intense. Please, someone make this stop. There is no way this will end well.

Oh, that’s right.  “That 70s Show.” Man, it’s been a while.

Ultimately, I like the movie and plan on seeing it again. It’s a “love-it-or-hate-it” kind of deal, but I was able to get on board with it early in the film. I like “The Wrestler,” which was melodramatic in its own way, but not on this level. I’m still on the fence about Aranofsky, though. I think he chooses subject matter where the drama is too inherent, where the conflict comes too easily. I will say that he’s able to get a lot out of his actors. Even without the “road to redemption” subtext, Rourke’s performance in “The Wrestler” is amazing. This is the best acting I’ve ever seen by Portman.